i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
