Porn is love you can see.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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