haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
