it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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