My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
