fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing