Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked