a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.