Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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