idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
