was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
