no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
