I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
