i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
