There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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