This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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