I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
