Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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