You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
