im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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