Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
