Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
