if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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