he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
