Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
