'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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