anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
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I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
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I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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