he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
