Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize