16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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