yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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