I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I have post one night stand depression
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
