Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
