Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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