I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
