SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
