Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize