Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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