Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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