well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
