I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
this hospital has no fireball
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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