She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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