And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
