Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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