Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
