dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
