Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
