You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
