Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
