Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
