so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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