dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
