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• (718): View more from New York

  he told me my vagina needed a tic tac

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar

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• (713): View more from Texas

  he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  Give me weed or give me death?

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.

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