So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize