did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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