He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize