I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
