ugly people sure do ruin things
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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