Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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