At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
