yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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